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Wedding Planning and the Art of Sticking to Your Guns

I wrote this article quite a while back for The English Wedding Blog but I definitely think it still holds true. Wedding Planning can be a stressful affair…

Every couple planning a wedding (unless they happen to be extremely rich with little or no family) will have to make compromises. This is a fact. But don’t panic! Here is a simple guide to working out your priorities early and then sticking to them with a steely determination in the face of dream venues, pushy mother-in-laws and dwindling funds.

Step one: You’re engaged!

Celebrate, drink champagne, enjoy the moment, dream big and tell your other half every half-baked idea you’ve ever had involving castles and dancing unicorns. Maybe he’ll tell you about how he fancies sky-diving into the venue or getting married at the Emirates.

Smile kindly and nod, don’t fall out – none of these things are ever going to happen. For me and my other half our dream scenarios included getting married in a crumbly palazzo in Rome, on the beach in Cornwall or under a dinosaur in a natural history museum.

All would have been amazing but all would have come with their own headaches. So daydream for a while (and for god’s sake don’t tell your parents anything that you’re not actually planning to do – the dinosaur brainwave did not go down well with my mum and dad).

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Step two: Sit down, make yourselves a tea (or a stiff drink) and get a pen and paper.

Work out what really matters to you. What actually really matters, not the colour of your shoes or whether the men will have top hats.

Write down the 5 things that will really make your wedding day.

It doesn’t matter what those things are. For us it was good food; a relaxed atmosphere; a blank canvas reception venue; plentiful, free drinks; and keeping costs low for us and our friends.

Yours might be the venue, the dress, the music – anything… Whatever these things are, stick with them. Everything else is up for negotiation but not these five things!

Step three: Keep this list about your person and each time you feel the pressure to deviate from your plans (and that’s going to happen A LOT) let it remind you.

If you’re just about to sign up for a beautiful country house venue but are limited to a specific dull and generic caterer maybe think again if, like us, you desperately wanted to design your own menu.

Don’t let anyone pressurise you into over-spending on a beautiful princess dress when what you really want to spend the money on is a band and a cute short dress and heels that you can dance all night in.

So there you have it. Simple really. Although your fantasy wedding plans will inevitably go out the window, if you stick to your guns on the things that really matter your wedding will be better than either of you could have imagined


Just got engaged? Yeay!

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